Going through a separation or divorce is a hugely challenging experience for any couple, and is often even more difficult when there are children involved. When a family separates, there is a profound feeling of grief and loss at loosing what the family has known as the family unit. Most parents worry about the impact a separation will have on their children. There generally is a significant impact on the children in the family, as they adjust to this period of transition and come to terms with their ‘new normal.’
Regardless of the circumstances surrounding the separation, this process can often have an impact on each family member’s mental well being and at times an impact on the children’s relationship with their parents. This can of course also feel even more complicated when parents re-partner and have to navigate the process of introducing new people into their children’s lives and potentially blending families together.
If your family is going through the process of a separation or divorce, you may be experiencing some of the following:
- Difficulty communicating and co-parenting with your Ex-partner
- Difficulty managing differences in discipline and parenting styles with your Ex-partner
- Difficulty adjusting to new living arrangements or seeing your children on a less regular basis
- Your children struggling with coming to your house or going to their other parent’s house
- Your children’s relationship being strained with their other parent, or a new partner
- Struggling to go through court or legal proceedings and custody arrangements
These are all very normal challenges to arise during a period of change and separation within a family, and can be very difficult to navigate on your own. Engaging in therapy for separated families can be really beneficial to obtain support for both you and your family, to help you navigate some of these challenges and feel less alone in going through this process.
Understanding How Family Therapy for Separated Families Works:
In family counselling there is a large emphasis on working collaboratively, with all members of the family including both parents, children involved and where appropriate new partners. The aim of family therapy is always to obtain the best outcome for the children involved and the family as a whole, whatever that may be. The structure of family therapy normally commences with initial information gathering sessions with both parents either together or individually. This allows for the therapist to gain background information and insight from both parent’s perspective on what the current challenges are and establish a goal to assist with helping the family adjust to this transition period. Often family therapy will then also include sessions with the children that are involved and then potentially, with the family as a whole or the particular family members who are involved in the current challenges. Family therapy is a collaborative approach and the therapist will be guided by you and your family’s specific set of needs and circumstances. Starting family therapy, can feel like a scary and overwhelming process, however it is ok to seek help and support in what is often a very difficult transition period.
Specific Ways Family Therapy can help your Family:
- Provide a safe space for all family members (parents, step-parents, children) to discuss their perspective, concerns and challenges
- Assists in learning communication skills and strategies so you and your Ex-partner can communicate and co-parent more effectively
- Provide support to manage change and the difficult transition period
- Assists to build on and gradually improve relationships between parents and their children
- Provide a safe space for children to express their wants, needs and feelings about this process, and assist them in helping to communicate these to their family members
Going through the process of a family separation can be a very lonely and isolating process. If you and your family are struggling with this process, please don’t hesitate to reach out for support, as family therapy can offer a source of support and safety in helping your family to get through a very challenging period of time.
