One of the biggest challenges when working with teenagers is that they may not have chosen to be there. They might feel like they have been forced into therapy, believe that nothing is wrong, or even think that therapy is only for “crazy” people. Expecting a teenager to immediately open up about their problems in this context is unrealistic.
For me, in therapy, the first session is rarely about “doing therapy.” It’s about getting to know the young person and, importantly, helping them feel safe, heard and free from judgement. I want to understand who they are outside of the reason they were referred. What are they interested in? What do they enjoy? Sometimes that might simply look like playing a game or talking about something they’re passionate about.
A teenager arriving with their earphones in, giving one-word answers, or clearly not wanting to be there does not necessarily mean therapy has failed. Building trust takes time. I have seen young people who initially seemed reluctant gradually become more comfortable and begin to recognise the value of having someone they can talk to.
Therapy also works best when it feels collaborative. Teenagers can have very little control over other parts of their lives, so giving them some choice within the therapy room matters. Asking questions such as, “What do you actually want from this?” or even, “Why don’t you want to be here?” can create space for honest conversations and help identify what might make therapy more useful for them.
Teenagers do not always need another adult telling them what to do. Sometimes they need someone who will genuinely listen, give them space to complain, encourage them when they are struggling, and believe in them.
For me, progress is not always a major breakthrough. Sometimes it’s a teenager sharing one more detail than they did the week before, staying a little longer in a difficult conversation, or simply feeling comfortable enough to come back. These small moments can be the beginning of meaningful change.
Endeavour Wellness provides teen counselling services in Kirrawee and Blacktown.
