Moody, disengaged teenagers have long been the stereotype, and that perceived reluctance can extend to therapeutic engagement. Adolescence is a key developmental period in which changes in identity, autonomy and belonging are central. These changes can bring increased self-consciousness, sensitivity to rejection and shifts in how young people relate to adults, including their therapist.
Looking beneath this “moodiness” reveals a lot about what a young person might be experiencing. They may not be withdrawing because they “hate the world”; they may be protecting their emerging identity. What looks like purposeful defiance may be an attempt to negotiate their newfound autonomy. Risk-taking behaviours can reflect sensation-seeking, while silence and disengagement may stem from a fear of shame or judgement as they work out who they are.
This behaviour can communicate an adolescent’s attempt to adapt to their changing needs. Their inner world can be a whirlwind of identity confusion, fear of failure, rejection, conflict between dependence and independence, and an intense need for belonging. That is quite a lot for a young person to handle.
Work with teenagers can often be slower, as understanding their inner world and building the trust needed for emotionally safe therapeutic interactions takes time. Some may see a therapist’s authority as a threat. Another person to get them in trouble. This is why I like to take a curious, collaborative approach, particularly with adolescent clients. Rather than assuming they are the issue, I take the time to understand their experience and the complex world around them, helping them feel safe enough to share what they might otherwise keep to themselves and work towards positive changes.
