The ancient Roman emperor and philosopher, Marcus Aurelius, wrote; “Waste no more time arguing what a good man should be. Be one.”
But amongst the stress, pressure, and demanding busyness of modern-day life, what it means to be a “good” man can be a difficult concept to understand, let alone “be” in our everyday lives. Stereotypes about being “strong” and stoic abound. We’ve all heard phrases like “you’ll be right…”, “suck it up…”, “get yourself together…”. As a result, men often feel that they need to rely on themselves, rather than talking to others about their emotions, and the mental health difficulties they might be going through; “bottling them up”.
Unfortunately, this is an unhelpful coping strategy that can often lead to an increased sense of isolation, relationship difficulties, withdrawal, and even alcohol and drug abuse – none of which are good for our mental health.
Often, this idea that men need to “cope by themselves” or avoid acknowledging their emotions is driven by a worry that they will be judged by others as “weak”.
The reality is that showing up to our emotions, and seeking help by talking to others is very brave – it takes courage to be vulnerable. And ultimately if we can find the strength in ourselves to open up about our emotional experiences and the mental health issues we may be battling with, the more effectively we can adapt to the inevitable challenges and difficulties we experience in life. Becoming more open and communicating what we’re going through emotionally can be the difference between staying “stuck” and feeling alone, and beginning to take active steps in learning how to manage our own mental health and thriving as a human being.
If you would like further support in learning how to manage your own mental health, please take the brave step of reaching out. Talking to someone can make a huge difference.
