Attending school can be a challenging and difficult experience for many kids and teenagers, and at times this can lead to what is known as “school refusal” or “school avoidance”. School refusal is generally understood as a child experiencing difficulty attending school due to emotional distress. The cause, or causes, of this emotional distress can differ from one child to another. Some common sources of this distress include:
- Social difficulties or alienation – this may include bullying (whether verbal or physical) or just general feelings of loneliness or isolation due to a lack of social connection or support.
- Anxiety or stress about academic performance or learning challenges.
- Environmental stressors in the school environment which trigger sensory sensitivities -schools are typically big, noisy, busy places with lots going on and this can be overwhelming for kids with particular sensory profiles.
- Teachers who don’t take into account a child’s unique learning style or needs.
- Separation anxiety from parents, caregivers, or other family.
- Difficulties coping with other changes occurring in life, such as the loss of family members, parental separations, or illnesses.
- A starkly perceived discrepancy between school and home life – with school being associated with anxiety, loneliness, and fear, and school being associated with relaxation, fun, and safety (often with particularly enjoyable interests or activities).
In supporting kids and their parents to manage school refusal, the first and most important step to getting kids back to school is understanding, connecting with, and empathising with the child’s unique experiences and feelings.
If a child is feeling overwhelmed by anxiety, fear, and loneliness at school, then is it any wonder that school feels daunting? Avoidance is often a very understandable reaction to particularly difficult experiences at school. Understanding what these specific difficulties are can help parents and teachers address them. This could mean increasing sources of social support for kids, setting clear, realistic, and kind expectations about academic performance, addressing sources of sensory overwhelm, connecting with other deeply felt emotional experiences a child may be going through to support them more directly, and setting clear boundaries and expectations around preferred activities of interest at home (e.g. gaming or use of technology). If your child is really struggling with getting to school it’s important to connect with professional supports such as psychologists, and your child’s school. Advocating for the support that they may need is an important step to getting them back on track so that they gradually begin to develop the confidence to thrive, both socially and academically.
Endeavour Wellness provides child counselling services in Kirrawee and Blacktown.
