Anxiety in Men

Oftentimes, anxiety in men goes unspoken. Many of my male clients, especially the older ones, have carried it quietly for years, sometimes without telling their family, their partner or even their friends. They may look fine on the outside, but inside they’re running on poor sleep, tension and a constant need to stay in control.

A large part of this silence comes from the belief that anxiety is a flaw, something that makes them weak and that they need to hide and push through. So I start by explaining what anxiety actually is and how it works. Anxiety is simply the body’s alarm system doing its job, but firing when there’s no real danger, or being much louder than the situation calls for. Understanding this can, at times, take away a lot of the shame. Anxiety is common, it affects people from all walks of life, and it does not reflect an individual’s strength or character.

Once this has been established, we can take a deeper look at how it affects them specifically. For some men it’s racing thoughts, but for others it can be irritability, tension, avoiding situations, or throwing themselves into work so they have no time to feel it. Recognising this pattern is very important, because you can’t change something you can’t see clearly.

From there, I work with each client to build practical skills that suit their life, whether that’s changing how they respond to anxious thoughts, working with the physical symptoms, or gradually facing the things they’ve been avoiding. I’m not handing out a script. What works for one person won’t work for another, so we figure it out together.

I also want men to know they don’t need to go through this alone. Reaching out is not a sign that you can’t cope. More often, it’s the first step towards feeling in control of your life again.